Sunday, May 19, 2013

The Five Deadly Snarks of Weddings: Snark #1--Creative Expression

The Five Deadly Snarks of Weddings: 

Creative Expression

1. Snarking a bride's taste or competency in making decisions for herself. I've spent more than a few moments of my life since I've gotten engaged second guessing myself. At first, I was easily influenced by what people thought. Now I've realized that I am a competent woman who is creative, intelligent, and pretty organized. I don't need to rationalize every decision I make when it comes to decisions about the wedding I am throwing and paying for to someone else. 

Why is this sore subject so fresh on my mind?? Well, mainly because some reality star (I use the term "star" loosely, mind you...) got married and everyone began attacking her because of what some consider to be poor taste in wedding attire and dinner selection. "Momma June" Shannon (Mother of child-pageant participant Alana, aka Honey Boo Boo) and Mike "Sugar Bear" Thompson got married. Now mind you, I have never once watched their show and I don't care to. I did read about their wedding though. Their spread sounded pretty good for a Southern Down-home BBQ wedding. They had a whole roasted pig that was made into pulled pork sandwiches and ribs. They had corn on the cob, mac and cheese, baked beans and sweet tea. Hey...we wouldn't serve this, but I don't know many Southerners or fan of comfort food that would turn this down. 

Miss Alana wore a pretty cute pageant dress made up of pink and orange ruffles. Momma June wore a camouflage dress with bright orange accents. I admit, this dress is not for me at all...but who am I to judge what Honey Boo Boo's mom does? What authority do I have to tell someone they can't have Airheads and Sour Patch Kids at their candy table? I happen to like those candies. I would probably snag a few, even though I would worry about all the high fructose corn syrup that I would be consuming for the day. No one is under my jurisdiction. If you want a camo dress, and your daughter wants to wear some frilly pageant dress, why not? It's your day to do as you please. I'm wearing a blue peacock embroidered dress. I'm sure someone will think it's tacky...and guess what? I don't give a fluffy bunny fuck about what they think. I even had a friend tell me my engagement ring was tacky. Who cares? She doesn't have to wear it; I do. 

For all these people thinking that her dress is ugly and tacky, remember beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder. Don't think your toilet smells like roses. I am sure some of your guests might have whispers behind your back about how tacky your bridesmaids' dresses are. Your grandma might think your makeup is too dark and looks slutty. Everyone gets to have their day the way they want it...tacky or not. And that includes your tacky wedding too...

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